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Why You Must Learn to Hold Space for Yourself

June 24, 2017

Holding space for yourself means being fully with yourself freely to be you are without judgement.

 

While I have always been comfortable and able to hold space well for others I could not do this for myself. I would chronically and unconsciously put other people’s needs and desires before my own. As I grew older and wiser, I came to recognize this was not sustainable. Regardless of how painful and vulnerable it felt, to LIVE, I was going to have to teach myself how to hold sacred space for ME.

 

I had to be honest, that I was not able to be fully present with my children, spouse, or students. Worse was my ability to be present with other family members, my friends, and employees. I had to learn to be fully present to myself-no short cuts.

 

I had to learn to treat myself with compassion and love. I had to learn to cultivate through courage to be my True Self and listen to my desires and needs even if that did not fit into the ever-shrinking box women are placed in. 

 

The process allows me to begin to feel my deep emotions in my body without labeling them, judging them or changing them. Over time, I cultivated more and more courage to allowed myself to be with my emotions and move through them and in return, I started having more space.

 

This is what happened, my friends, I found in my Soul. What is this “space” you may wonder? It’s the deep connection to Spirit and Self without being influenced by the ego. So, when my shame and inadequacies bubble up (and they still do) I feel them and it’s not so scary. I move through them quicker and quicker every time. Most of all I experience sacred space for myself.

 

So, where can you start?

  • Begin by really getting to know yourself in a gentle, kind, and compassionate way. When you want to get to know someone you take them out for dinner, coffee, go for walks. Many of us suffer from the inner critic for whom whatever we do is never quite good enough. If this happens to you try to find ways to express yourself creatively or spend time in places that inspire you to be present to yourself. I promise, slowly by spending time with yourself you will begin to trust your innate wisdom and see it as a valuable gift you can give yourself.

 

  • While holding space we can witness everything that our self contains, looking into the shadows of our soul and holding it all with compassionate understanding. There is no need to hide as everything is met with gentle acceptance. If there are issues that need to be dealt with then we use our wisdom to find what is needed to address them.

 

  • I also want to write about the power of saying no. This can be a challenge as it might go against generations of cultural programming. It may disappoint people and it may not feel good at first. But saying no to someone or something is saying yes to you and what really matters to you and where you want to put your time.

 

I would love to hear your experiences with self-care and learning to hold space for yourself. If anything in this article has touched your please get in touch and let me know. I love to hear from you.

 

Deep peace,

Raechel

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